Out Of The Closet


In a day and age where the rights of gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender individuals are being fought over and established, you’d think that in this progressive world we could just get along. I mean, fifty years ago, ‘the love that could not be named’ wasn’t spoken of — and now it’s commonplace. My kids know what gay means — it isn’t a verboten topic in our home. They also know that I don’t judge people based on what they choose to do in their bedrooms.

A few people close to me know how I feel about homosexuality, but I’m coming out of the closet. It doesn’t bother me. I don’t care. Why? Because it’s a personal choice. I have no business giving my two cents about anyone’s choices unless they ask me. Many years ago I chose to love an abuser. I don’t think anyone agreed with my choice, but it was mine to make. Now I am married to a decent man and between us we have ten kids. Some people disagree with our choice to marry, but it’s our choice — and I believe we’re doing a pretty good job with all these kids.

A lot of people wonder how I can be a believer and say that sexual preference doesn’t bother me. I suppose I’m expected to be harsh and judgemental. I have no right to be. According to the ten commandments, I’ve broken the Sabbath, I’m a thief, an idolater, I’ve used His name in vain, dishonored my parents, committed adultery, I’m a liar, and I’ve coveted things that belong to another. I think, technically, I’m a murderer, too, because God says if we commit the sin in our hearts, it’s the same as doing it. So add murder to my list — and that’s only the beginning of my transgressions.

I know I’m all these things and more, but I can tell you what makes me whole: God’s love and grace. I make mistakes every day. God loves me anyway. Sometimes I’m so miserable I can’t stand to be around myself. God loves me anyway. I hurt the people I love and drown in regret. God loves me anyway. I fight back the urge to hate two specific people every day. God loves me anyway. Do you see the overlying theme here?


I don’t need to judge or try to decide what’s right. I need to love. God’s going to sort everything out in the end. He doesn’t need my help — He’s got a plan and He’s working it. I believe what He wants from me is to show others His love. I think He gave the ten commandments to show us that we are all on an even playing field. We are not better — or worse — than anyone else. My sin is not greater than yours — your choices are no better or worse than mine. This is how I see things.

I want my friends and family to know I love them. I didn’t say I love them even if they are gay. That doesn’t matter. Just like when they say they love me, they don’t say, “I love you, even if you are a thieving, lying, adulterer.”

So, I’m out of the closet. I choose love.



4 thoughts on “Out Of The Closet

  1. Sue Lund says:

    Awesome just awesome. I love reading your stuff. It is soo factual and down to earth. Wish i was closer so i could get to know you personally.

  2. Thanks, Sue — you, too, are one of my internet friends I wish I could actually hang with.

  3. Rob-bear says:

    The more I read here, the more I think this is a great place to” hang out,” so to speak.

    I have a number of GLBT friends. I have married gay and lesbian couples. For me it is such a non-issue. Their sexuality is as real to/for them as mine is/for to me.

    Blessings and Bear hugs!
    Bears Noting

    • Thank you, Rob-bear, I try to keep things interesting and safe. We’re all all human and need to love and be loved — I can’t imagine telling someone that they are wrong and should spend their life alone and unhappy. It’s crazy.

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