John 15:13 “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” (ASV)
I’ve always understood that verse to mean that there is no greater love than for a person to die for another. It’s the ultimate in sacrifice — just as Jesus died for us. Yesterday in church as our pastor was reading this passage it dawned on me that it also means laying myself aside for the greater benefit of whomever I love. As this realization was forming in me, our pastor went on to preach the same thing: Who and what are we living for?
During the entire message God worked on my heart, asking me in what way I could show greater love to my family. In what way am I still living for self? Where do my husband and kids need me to lay myself aside and place the focus on them? He didn’t have to poke at me too much, because He’s been convicting me for weeks about it. It’s yelling. I get frustrated and I holler. It’s my first reaction. It’s a very bad habit that I need to crucify. God held a mirror up to my face and showed me something I didn’t want to see. He used the actions of someone I truly dislike to show me how ugly and distasteful yelling is. I’m thankful for that and for the opportunity to get it right for the people I love so much.
I’m not sure how to go about it, but I know it’s something God wants me to change. I want that, too. I don’t like myself when I’m hollering and nobody else does, either. I can’t erase it from the minds of my older kids, but I want my little ones to grow up without it. When they are older and listening to stories from their older brothers, I want them to show an utter disbelief that momma ever yelled. This is my goal. I’ve envisioned it and I’m claiming this victory because Jesus has given me the authority.