Forgetting An Anniversary Can Be A Good Thing

While helping me make dinner last night, Artie reminded me of something that really blew me away.

December 2nd marked the third anniversary of freedom from our abuser.

Why do I find that so amazing? Is it because I never thought we’d live through it? Because our escape was so amazing? Because it’s been such a long and arduous road to freedom?

No. It’s because we forgot. I think that is wonderful. To me it’s a sign that we are moving on, pushing forward, pursuing happiness and every good thing that God has in store for us. We aren’t mired in our past. Yes, some of my kids are having difficulty coming to terms with the abuse and the repercussions of having a parent in prison, but even they are making progress.

So today I’d like to dwell — just for a few moments — on some of the steps we’ve taken in three years.

From isolation to friendships with anyone we choose.

From a dead spiritual life dictated by an evil man to an abundant life in Christ and an amazing church that is growing us every day closer to God.

From abuser-imposed ‘modesty’ to the freedom of self-expression — haircuts, makeup, pink hair streaks, fingernail polish, music, dancing…

From fear of intimacy to a healthy, loving relationship with my new, wonderful husband.

From a life dictated moment by moment by a sociopath to a life where dreams can be pursued…and are.

I am free to love, laugh, joke around with my kids, make noise, vote for whomever I choose, think the way I want, love my LORD, and just be me.

That’s the most amazing thing — I am allowed to be me and I’m loved for who I am.

Thank you, God. Thank you.

You’d think that with everything we survived, we’d live every moment of every day thankful and happy to be alive. Not so. We have bad days, bad moods, arguments, misunderstandings, grumpy moments, and bad attitudes just like every other human being. I suppose that’s a sign that we’re healing, too — the normalcy we see — the good stuff and the bad. I’m thankful for it all, though, if it moves us into an every-day life instead of the hopelessness we used to know.

I created the videos below for my kids as a reminder of our progress after our first year of freedom. So I’m including them — as a remembrance — not from whence we came, but how far we’ve traveled these last three years…together.

Brand New Man

My Secret Dream


One thought on “Forgetting An Anniversary Can Be A Good Thing

  1. Running from Hell with El says:

    Oh amen to this!! So happy that you forgot–that is such a sign of healing and grace!

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